Yes Means Yes!

I recently had the pleasure of reading Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power & A World Without Rape. It changed my life. Everyone should read this book.

It’s a collection of essays about rape culture, touching on every topic from racism and incest to female torturers and ideas about masculinity. The spectrum of experiences and perspectives represented are vast, and I think everyone can relate to at least a few of the realities presented.

To paraphrase Latoya Peterson in The Not Rape Epidemic, we all have our own “not rape” story.

Yes Means Yes encourages readers to enthusiastically and shamelessly claim the sexual pleasure they want and deserve without seeking the approval of others. Perceptions of “proper” women’s relationships with sexuality and their bodies are turned on their head in these touching, thought-provoking pieces.

Rather than blaming men or taking them out of the equation altogether, as so much feminist literature is accused of doing, this book embraces males as part of the solution. A few of the essays are even written by men.

Reading this book was like having every conversation I’ve had or article I’ve read about rape culture pushed just beyond what I previously knew to be true and bundled into a neat, easy-to-digest package.

Working to end sexual violence can often feel like a losing battle. Each day, we hear new stories of rape and encounter challenges from closed-minded individuals who don’t want to understand the root of the problem and aren’t willing to unite in making our world safer for everyone.

Books like this remind us that we aren’t alone, and that change, though slow and painful, is possible. Only through successfully challenging accepted attitudes and behaviours toward consent and sexuality will rape culture and sexual violence become things of the past.

Yes Means Yes Blog

Jaclyn Friedman’s web site

Jessica Valenti’s web site