Abercrombie’s Bitch

After two years of trying and failing to find a reliable source, I’ve randomly come across confirmation that Hemingway did, indeed, purchase the gun he used to kill himself at Abercrombie & Fitch. I can stop feeling like a fraud.

We learn so much about ourselves from what we loved when we were young.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I booked my plane ticket this morning. It’s official, no turning back. At 6:25 pm on September 11, I will be flying out of Detroit, heading for Dublin, Ireland.

After months of repeatedly being asked when I leave, I can finally give a concrete answer. And I’ll now have to deal with the strange looks I get when I tell people I’m going on the ten-year anniversary of the attack on the World Trade Center. My mother tried to get me to change the date, but I don’t see any real reason to. If something bad’s going to happen, it’ll happen, I’m not one to change my life to avoid disaster.

I’ve never flown by myself before, and I’m super nervous about getting through security and immigration and finding my gate and everything. I’m the type of person who always seems to attract some sort of drama, but I’m learning to get used to things not going smoothly.

I like the process of traveling. I love updating my iPod, loading my carry-on with enough reading and writing materials to last a month, and stocking up on all my favourite snacks.

I love airports. They allow you to experience everything a city wants to share with you in a perfectly safe and controlled environment.

It’s once you leave the airport that I can’t stand. I hate being in foreign places, not knowing where I am or what I’m supposed to be doing. I have a hard time dealing with the uncertainty of being away, knowing real life is continuing on without me, and I have no way of controlling it.

Knowing all this, I’ve decided to throw myself entirely out of my comfort zone and spend at least a year living in Dublin. I expect it to be a lesson in adaptation and rolling with the punches, letting go and accepting things for what they are, rather than focusing on the negative side. I’ll have to get comfortable with myself and learn to trust my instincts, because I’m on my own.

I’ve got a million reasons why I don’t want to go, but now I’ve got a plane ticket, the final nail in my grad school coffin, and it’s time to accept that I’m going, and whether I like it or not, I’m probably going to have an amazing time.